Pineapple Flavored Shinobi
by Blue-Eyed-Beast-of-Destiny
Summary: Naruto's return party is spent with friends, Sake becomes involved because of our busty Hokage and fruit starts to talk and walk...esp. the pineapples Non-Yaoi


**AN: This is a collaboration between myself and hawk wing here on . Please be kind, this story was inspired between a night of hyperness and total insanity on my part. Also it is placed in Shippuuden btw.**

**Disclaimer: Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto not I or Hawk Wing. **

"This was a great idea, Sakura-chan," Chouji commented through a mouthful. "We all get to talk to Naruto now."

Sakura sighed. "I just wish shishou didn't bring the sake." She watched worriedly as Neji and Gai dodged another of Lee's drunken punches.

"Neji-san and Gai-sensei can handle it. It's not like it's the first time," Tenten groaned.

"For the...Who allowed Lee sake??" huffed a very exasperated Hyuuga that was barely able to keep his nose connected to his face.

Tenten and Sakura flinched as another punched nearly landed on Gai's face. ("My youthful face!! TT-TT)

Laughter roared out across the room.

"Oh no, Hinata passed out again," Chouji stated.

"I don't see why she had to stay over there when those 3 are drunk," Sakura commented.

A loud thump sounded from behind them. They turned to see the most awkward sight in the world: Neji and Gai sprawled on top of Lee while he continued flailing around.

While Sakura, Chouji, and Tenten were absorbed in their spectatorship of the drunken Lee Wrestling, they failed to notice the familiar figure stationed patiently out side of the newly cracked window.

Kakashi was baffled at the sight of Gai and the proud Hyuuga wrestling around on the floor with none other than the spandex loving mini Gai: Lee. Figuring it was about time to just pop in, and to ease his curiosity, Kakashi, the Legendary Copy-Cat Ninja, decided to scare the shit out of the Legendary Sucker's apprentice. Raising his hands in the familiar move, Kakashi poofed next to the entranced Sakura.

"Oi, What the Fuck are Gai and Neji doing?"

Bad move. Everyone close by looked over right as Sakura's hello met Kakashi's face; a.k.a her fist. Kakashi, while watching the dreaded greeting come closer, wondered how the girl could control her chakra that well while being almost totally plastered.

Laughter roared once again at the sight of the elite ninja flying into the nearby wall by a mere girl's punch. The ex-anbu jounin saw, through the stars and swirls, a pissed kunoichi yelling, before total darkness engulfed him.

Loud thumps came from behind again and Sakura whirled around, fuming, just to see Kiba sprawled on the floor laughing beyond the point of tears, and her fruit center piece, the one she worked hours just to get right, completely destroyed. Fruit rolled everywhere while the two boys turned purple from laughing and lack of oxygen.

"NARUTO!!"

The boy sat up straight, trying his damn hardest but failing, to straighten his face. "Yes, S-s-s-s-s-sakura-chan?" Snorts escaped.

"You ruined my fruit center piece!! Both of you pick it up now!!" she screeched.

Naruto straightened, glanced at Kakashi's unconscious form, gulped and immediately went to work cleaning up. Kiba tried to join but his laughter prevented his arms from even gripping an apple.

Still laughing hard, Naruto sat up, placing fruit on the table. They rolled every which way and back onto the floor. He was able to stop the pineapple right by the sleeping Shikamaru's arm. Pausing, he sat the fruit up straight and looked between the two.

"Pineapple….shadow user….pineapple…….shadow pineapple!!" He reached over and started shaking Shikamaru's arm.

Shikamru groggily woke up to his entire world rocking in a very unusual and irritating fashion. "Whaaaaat??" the boy grumbled.

"You're a shadow pineapple!!" Naruto shouted.

Shikamaru stared at him. "Where the hell did that come from?"

"You," the drunken blond pointed towards the "shadow pineapple"(Shikamaru as he still claimed). Then moving his hand in a manner that made sure Shikamaru was paying attention towards the pineapple. Then he pointed at the shadow user wildly again and said "shadow" and then pointed back towards the pineapple..."Shadow Pineapple. You're hair is exactly like a pineapple's!!"

Kiba sat up and looked between the fruit and Shika. "You're right. He is a p-p-p-p-pineapple!" Unable to hold it in any longer, Kiba fell flat on the floor, literally busting a gut again.

"Troublesome," sighed the newly dubbed "Shadow Pineapple" before replying, towards the once again oxygen deprived blond: "If I am the "Shadow Pineapple." Then what would Jiraya-sama be, hm?"

The words "The Pervy Pineapple!!" made the whole room shut up.

Shikamaru, The Shadow Pineapple, came to the conclusion that any type of alcohol and Naruto didn't mix.

Jiraya, after hearing the Pervy Pineapple title he was so gracefully given, decided to call the attention off of himself. He hollered out: "Oi, then what the hell is Neji-kun?"

Without missing a beat Naruto announced that Neji was the "Girly Pineapple."

Not even noticing that the said pineapple just walked back in from leaving the spandex loving mini Gai in Gai's care. Everybody froze. You do NOT call Neji Hyuuga a girl and get away with it. Those close to the Hyuuga ducked under tables or something solid to block his line of sight from them. The blond sat there laughing up a storm, oblivious to everyone trying to silently get him to shut up.

The silence was audible if not tangible. The infuriated "Girly Pineapple" sending a look that could cause the dead to wither and poof away into nothingness towards the one and only: Uzumaki, Naruto, who was drunkenly immune to it.

"We have yet to give Naruto-kun his welcome back gift," Neji said with a smile forming.

"I can't believe we forgot to. It's not too troublesome to give it to him now," Shika replied with a smirk of his own.

Neji's grin turned evil.


End file.
